Over 50% of American children will witness a parent’s divorce, and the other 50% will cause one. Children of divorce are more likely to experience a variety of negative outcomes, like having bad teeth, being too tall, cilantro tasting like soap, and worse! Join Matt Loxley, childhood divorce survivor, and a bevy of celebrity guests at this comedy variety telethon. The city’s best comedians will take your calls, record your pledges, and raise enough money to pass a law forcing all divorced parents to pay their children $136,000.
Please be advised:
Proof of vaccination required.
Please bring a mask to wear up to the bar/bathrooms

The Newport Theater is up a flight of stairs (no elevator) but a private entrance with a railing and seating near a side door/wheel-chair restroom can be arranged with advance notice. Email newporttheater@gmail.com for more information or learn more at newporttheater.com/safety